The dreaded guest list.
This can be one of the hardest parts of the wedding to sort out and unfortunately it is probably one of the first things that you need to do.
Determining the number of people that you have at the wedding will subsequently determine the venue, the food options, and the number of wedding favours you (and your unwilling helpers) have to sit and make.
But it’s not all doom and gloom.
The wedding guests often bring the whole tone of the wedding to life! They will spend all day telling you how beautiful you look, admiring the décor that you spent so much time and effort into putting together, and most importantly, they are the people who love and care about you and your spouse, and have come to celebrate your love!
They also bring gifts, so there’s that.
Michelle Farnsworth-Kimberling
Here are 6 secrets to help make the process of selecting guests seamless.
Establish the mood for the wedding early on
Are you hoping for a small and intimate wedding, with only your closest friends and family? Or are you going for a huge party with your old sunbeams teacher and your first EFY counsellor in attendance ? Whichever way you are leaning towards, having an idea of the overall tone you want to set for the day will help you to make a rough number estimate to start with. This can help you to be disciplined when your cousin’s boyfriend’s little sister needs a plus one.
Know your budget
Setting your budget early on will help you set your limits, and make the entire wedding planning process a lot more manageable, and this is especially true for the guest list. If you do not have the budget for 500 people, don’t invite 500 people. This may seem obvious, but it’s easy to forget all of the costs that come with each guest: food, invitations, place cards, finding extra tables and chairs for the venue, wedding favours…it can all add up. Deep financial strain is no way to start a marriage, and can be avoided by taking the time to think about the smaller things.
Make it a joint effort with your future spouse
Not to make any assumptions here, but chances are, that it is the ladies in the relationship making most of the big wedding decisions. In my experience, the men prefer it that way (how can a person not care about the difference between off-white and ivory for the ribbon on the wedding invitations? HOW?) However, there are some aspects of planning that are essential to share, and the guest list is one of them. While the tiny details don’t seem to matter, it is important that your spouse feels equally represented at the wedding, and that they are comfortable and excited about the people they are sharing the day with. It is likely that you will have a large overlap in friends, so one way to divvy up the guest list, is bride side, groom side, joint friends. Try not to interfere with the other person’s “territory” in any way. It’s important to respect their decisions. This ensures that both sides feel as though they are having an equal say.
Be. Disciplined.
I’m talking about a saying-no-to-McDonald’s-even-though-you-have-a-free-Big-Mac-on-Monopoly kind of discipline. Once you have established a number, you have to stick to it! There will always be people who pop up out of the woodwork, and it is important to be polite, but this is one of the most important days of your life! Your wedding is not a YSA convention. You should only have people there that you want to be there. So when your cousin’s boyfriend’s little sister asks for a plus one, say no. Thank’s for wanting to come, but no.
Family Matters
Seeking help from your parents and family members is so important when trying to configure the wedding guest list BUT this can add a lot of stress to the situation, especially if there are differing cultures to consider. There is difficulty in striking the balance between pleasing family members but also keeping the day about you and what you want as a couple. One helpful way would be to give your parents a “number”. This shows that you want them involved in the process, and are giving them a say, but having them stay within that number hopefully means that you do not end up with any added stress.
Keep it Simple
There can be multiple parts of the wedding day. The ceremony, the reception, the evening-do and of course the sealing. It may seem like a good idea to make loads of different guest lists to accommodate all of these different elements, but this can add even more stress to the planning! “Did I invite them to the reception do and not the evening do? Or just the ceremony?” Of course, it is important to have the right people at the right part of the wedding so a way to combat this, is to try and consolidate the lists as much as possible. Often, you can group together the guests from the ceremony and the evening do. These two elements have no real specific costs associated with them, and therefore the numbers don’t have to be too limited.
It doesn’t have to be dreaded. The guest list is a paper representation of all the people who are going to be with you on the best day ever. The whole process can be made simpler by following a few simple rules, and sticking to them!
